Is imperfect

I found this link on my uncle's blog. I've listened to it 3 times. I've read it twice.

The question I keep asking myself is: Do I have the courage to be imperfect?


Brene Brown: The power of vulnerability | Video on TED.com

A few years ago I had  principal I was working for who told me something that has truly changed my life.  We were having a discussion about work and I, most likely, began listing all of the things that I was NOT doing well.  I have the tendency to be kind of hard on myself.  I wanted to be perfect (lets be real, I still want to be perfect).  Anyway, in the course of our conversation he said to me:  Amber you are not a perfectionist.  You are an imperfectionist.  All you see are the things you do that are imperfect."

True.

And hard to hear.

 He was right.  I wasn't seeing anything perfect about my life, talents, abilities or world.  All I saw was in myself was imperfection.  I would like to think of myself as a generally optimistic person, but he brought to my attention how harshly I was treating myself.  Not good.

So, this is something I have been working on for quite a while now -- it is still a work in progress.

Today I came across this quote from Elder Neal A. Maxwell:  "Truly converted disciples, though still imperfect, will pursue “the life of the soul” on any day, in any decade, amid any decadence and destruction."

I don't have to be perfect, all I have to do is pursue the life of the soul (D&C 101:37).

So, that is my goal during the month of May (and the remainder of April).  Rather than be so worried about things that are of little consequence. . . . I am going to try really hard to follow the counsel of the scriptures and Elder Maxwell to pursue "the life of the soul"

I think it is going to make a big difference.

Is a Runner

Why Do I Run?  

Lately, I've had a few people ask me "Amber, why do you run?" and consequently I have been asking that question of myself as well.  Why? you might wonder does picking up and putting down you feet for miles and miles each week even sound fun to me.  

Well, I'll tell you why I run.   

(and even if you haven't asked yourself this question, just humor me by reading along). 

Thanks. 

I run to be alone.  

I run to be with friends. 

I run to see the darkness turn into light during the early morning hours. 

I run to have conversations with friends that I would never have if I wasn't running with them.  (seriously, running really makes me feel like talking. . . . and I probably say more than I ever should).  

I run because I don't have to have a membership.  Just my running shoes and I am set.  

I run because it is hard.  It is hard no matter what.  Without fail the first mile of my run I always wonder if I have ever run before.  Then, it gets easier.  Without fail the hardness gets easier -- every time.  True of a lot more than just running right!?

I run because I love the feel at the top of 400 North.  Almost more than I love running back down 400 North I love the feel at the top.  (400 south is a different story. . . at the top of 400 south I just feel grateful to have made it to the top -- kind of like the hill at Veyo in the St. George Marahon). 

I run to silently clear my mind. 

I run because I can, and I am grateful for that.  

I run because it is like a daily adventure.  I never know where my mind and feet are going to take me.  My mind takes me anywhere and everywhere:  somewhere fun to recall, somewhere painful that I need to remember and then get over, somewhere in the future, a place where I can dream, somewhere beautiful, somewhere where I make it through the hard times, somewhere I love.  Mostly, while running, my mind takes me places I love.  My feet take me beautiful places, scary places that I have to run just a little faster to get out of, places that hold memories, and places where memories are made.  

I run because it teaches me patience.  I think.  Patience with my body and my heart (both physically and emotionally -- I think sometimes my heart gains more emotionally/spiritually then it does physically)

I run because sometimes it is too cold to ride my bike, but it is never to cold to run.  Sometimes, the colder the better.  

I run because maybe, just maybe I'll see someone I can wave at and it just might start their day off right. I know it always makes mine better when I start it by smiling at a familiar face.  

I run because I'm not actually coordinated enough to do aerobics or zumba or things like that.  Seriously, I'm not.  

I run in the rain and the snow and the sunshine and the dark and the warm and the cold and everything in-between. 

I run to appreciate the seasons.  

I run to set and accomplish goals. 

I run because I want to be healthy and live for a long time. 

I run because I love it.  And, even when I don't I run anyway and then I do love it. 

I am a runner.  

I need to take more pictures of recent races. 

Top of Utah 2009

Turkey Trot 2010

Running in a blizzard with Mike last weekend 15 miles of snow and great conversation. 

Peach Days 2009. . . . Seriously, can I have those arms back!? 

looks pretty in concert black

My dad always told me that a girl who plays the violin is prettier than one who doesn't.  

I think it was his way of convincing me to practice (and make the lessons worth his money) all those years.  

It worked.  

I believed him. 

I practiced, a lot.  

I've always loved how a full symphony, dressed in concert black looks.  

classy. 

formal. 

prettier than the general public

just like my dad said.  

I'm excited to be in my concert black again this weekend.  I haven't performed with a formal symphony since my days at Ricks College (which was a long time ago. . . like in the 90's long ago).  I am  sure the concert black attire I have to pick from now is much classier and pretty than what I had back then.  

That said, if the only person who thinks I am pretty with a violin in my hands, wearing my concert black is my dad then maybe all that money they paid for years and years will be worth it.  

Come listen and decide for yourself  if a girl with a violin is in fact, prettier than one without.  

has miles to go

I have promises to keep,
and miles to go before I sleep.-Robert Frost

Do you ever feel like you have so much to do before you can sleep? 

And then you wake up in the middle of the night worried about it.  


Yep.  I make way to many promises and try to run way to many miles every day. (Literally and figuratively) 


On the other hand, after a weekend of general conference I am determined to make those promises count and the miles worth it.  I need to "re-listen" to the talks again.  My goal is to listen to one each morning.  15 minutes while I am getting ready is nothing.  Today I listened about keeping the Sabbath Day Holy (Elder Perry, who as a side-note dated my grandma a LONG time ago. . . . true).  Keeping the Sabbath Day Holy has never really been a problem of mine, but I am more determined now to keep my promises and covenants that I renew on the sabbath day when I take the sacrament.  I think it is a good start.  


I can hardly wait to see what other things I continue to learn over the next few weeks.  


Almost more than I love general conference I love knowing that I can re-read and re-listen to the talks over and over again and each time learn something new.