who apparently doesn't do birthdays

So today was Eric's birthday.  

Do you think I did anything nice.
I mean that is what a fiance would do right?  

Nope.

I didn't. 

I basically had a melt-down.
After I told him happy birthday of course and then burst into tears for not doing anything nice for his birthday.
He did exactly what I wanted him to for my birthday.
I did exactly nothing for his.

Sometimes moving and quitting my job and getting married and having someone who loves me for me is all just too much for me to process all at once.
I get home from a marathon day after it is long past dark.
I keep working just waiting for his phone call and thinking I can't wait to talk to him.
And then I hear his voice and I lose it.
And then I wish I could hold it together.
for just one day. one short day.
That probably would have been the best birthday present I could have given him.

Apparently, that is asking too much.

If Eric survives me for the next 44 days it will be nothing short of a miracle.  
MIRACLE. in all caps.

Good thing Eric is forgiving. 
I'm not so gracious with myself. 

In any case:

He is patient when I am not.
He can joke when I need to laugh. 
He can tell when I am not quite ready to say goodnight.
He makes changes to his schedule to accomodate mine.
He makes himself his own birthday dinner and plays the wii with his girls.
He doesn't care about "things" and yet he is willing to put up with all of mine that is getting shipped to Oregon tomorrow.
He always calls me. I never have to call him.
He is understanding. 
He is handsome.
He has more mental willpower than anyone I have ever met.
He knows what to say and when to say it.
He tells me he can't read my mind, but he does a pretty good job of reading my heart.
He lets me cry.
He doesn't cry.
He doesn't hold grudges.
He shops at Walmart.  
He smiles. a lot.
He laughs at his mistakes (which he doesn't make a whole lot of). 
He loves his family.
He works hard everyday and extra hard during tax season.
He is always learning something new.
He runs (but not quite as fast as me)
He encourages me to be me.
He serves at church and in his home.
He doesn't care that his chest is bigger than mine. 
He looks great in an old t-shirt and jeans. 
He budgets the money.
He loves my short hair.
He gets along with my family.
He asks good questions and thinks logically when I can't.
He treats every single day like a new day. 
He watches the Ducks play football all. the. time.
(except for that one time that I booked a flight out during a bowl game -- oops) 
He has "refined" taste in what he eats.
He is working on being more romantic.for me. 
He loves me. . . . all of me.  

and a lot of other things, but I got to 36 and I should probably stop or else you are all going to think that he is like 60 years old (because isn't that what you are suppose to do. . . . write one thing you love about someone for every year of their life!?)

I guess that even if I don't do birthdays at least I blog.
and maybe he will read this and forgive me for being so lame.
and act really excited when I bring his present to him next week when I go visit for Thanksgiving.