I don't think that anyone should really ever move "out of my life" or my ward or my neighborhood. Especially the family that I sit by in church every Sunday. Seriously, at a loss. And I might have, just might have, burst into tears after sacrament meeting when Angie told me that they were moving at the end of the month.
As is usual, 4 of the 5 Johnson children were on and or around my lap, wearing my jewelry, reading books and making pictures for me at church today and I loved every minute of it. Every "use a whisper voice" and "lets count how many boys are passing the sacrament" and "close your eyes and think about your Christmas tree" and "Yes, you can come see my house" and "close your eyes for the prayer" and "Look at the clock only 4 more times around and you get to go to Primary" and "Thank you for 'helping' me hold the baby." and hearing "I love you Amber Osaler (while accompanied of course by a small hand rubbing my leg)" made me feel like I was actually a part of something bigger than my one person household. I even had a slobber/spit up stain on my dry clean only sweater and it didn't bother me for 2 seconds.
I don't really have anything to say about this except for that if I thought not being married and having my own children wasn't fair this is pretty high up on the not fairness scale. I cannot sit alone at church. I just can't. I already do a lot of things alone and this was the one thing I didn't have to do by myself. In fact I actually found myself looking forward to and planning ahead for Sundays. (So much that sometimes if I had another ward to go to I would go to church twice just so I could sit with the Johnson family). Pathetic commentary on my life. but true.
I can already picture myself standing at the doors to the chapel scanning to see who I can sit with and not feel in the way or out of place. (if that is possible as a single person in a family ward) I can already feel that insecure feeling of knowing that it is obvious I am at church alone looking for someplace to sit. Not excited for January.
No one. I repeat. No one will replace the Johnson family.
Maybe they could just move in with me.
I think I'll go back to being sad and trying to think of ways that the Johnson's can stay in the ward.
I don't handle change well. at all.
10 comments:
Amber! Don't be sad! It makes me sad!!! You're welcome to sit with us anytime you would like. I think that if I knew I had you to sit by, it would encourage me to come to church more often when my family doesn't go. I hate going alone, but I do what I must. I know we don't replace the Johnson family whatsoever, but I know that we can at least help? Let's do something shall we? We keep talking about it but we never do it! Lets just hang out sometime or something. Let's find time to do something and so we shall. I love you girl and I know I'm only 16 and stuff, but if you ever need a shoulder to cry on, I'm here for you. I may even do a bit of crying with you.
Seriously. I've been her Visiting Teacher for 4 years. Love that family. You can sit next to us anytime, we would love it. But fair warning - we're never on time and end up having to sit on the uncomfy chairs in the back. I fear we are destined for a lesser kingdom than the Johnsons.....
Oh, Amber. :( I'm sad for you! I understand that feeling of not wanting to go to Church alone. :(
I understand 'alone.' And alone sucks. I'm sorry.
xo -El
You are welcome to come sit with us anytime. :)...even though you aren't in our ward. :)
I don't do well with change either.
Come sit with us! Amanda is such a handful. She needs treats and books. Seriously, I'm so sad for you that the Johnsons are moving. They will miss you as much as you will miss them. I'm so sad for you! I care about you!
Ahh! They can't move. I don't want them to go either. You are more than welcome to come sit with my family. When Kenny goes out of town I'll have the two kids by myself.
i'm sorry they are moving. they sound like a fun family with cute kids and i hope another family realizes the awesomeness of you and sees the potential of great sundays by having you sit with them.
So it looks like half our ward has said you are welcome to join them, but.
But.
I am *BEGGING* you to sit with me. Ok? Can I claim you to love my kids almost as much as you love the Johnsons? I know I don't have 5 kids, but I have 4. Is that close enough? Please? (Am I begging enough?) You don't know how I have coveted having you sit with my kids, with your mad child entertainment skills and dry clean only shirt to drool on. So serious.
Oh, and p.s. - I think we need both a sewing night and a Jam-a-month night, just for fun. Maybe we can fit it in right after zumba? :)
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