Seriously.
Don't be jealous of my really fantastic house and life.
It looks a little bit like this:
Here is my empty, always clean table.
Here is a close-up my always clean stove-top.
And the view from my house is even better:
Behold, the freeway and the construction crane.
This is my view that I have as I wash my dishes, in my kitchen (Don't be fooled, I didn't cook. Remember the always clean table and the finely polished stove top. I was just washing dishes from the food that I pulled out of the fridge, because it went bad).
(The sunset was pretty even if it was muted by the big trucks flying by on the freeway and the shadow of the crane)
No, really.
Don't be jealous that I basically live on the freeway and work too much - just to stay busy, and I don't have time to cook meals or people to eat them with.
I love living alone on the freeway and wasting money on food that gets thrown away.
Next time you want to tell me that you wish you were single and how I should just be enjoying this time and how great it is that I can do everything that I want to and travel and spend money like I want and not have to clean up anybody's messes and blah, blah, blah, reconsider.
(or just reference this blog post)
I'd trade my pictures for pictures of dirty faces playing in the sandbox in the backyard and dinnertime disasters and toys on the floor. So, if that is what you have: Be grateful, not jealous and think twice before you say something stupid to the single girl in your ward about how lucky she is. Remember that she probably just put on those stiletto's and that smile to come to church and cried when she was home by herself staring out the window at the freeway full of mini-vans. Just saying.
5 comments:
Okay, but can I post the pictures of your clean kitchen on my fridge and just fantasize about it a LITTLE bit? Not the being single and doing whatever you want part, but just the always cute and clean part? Amber, you were BORN to be a mother. You will get those messy little grubby hands and you will love and appreciate them so much more than if you had gotten everything easily at the ripe old age of 20. Not that that makes what your going through right now any easier. It sucks knowing exactly what you want and not knowing how to get it.
Dang it Amber!
I just about cried, and it's only 8:48 am.
Is it worth much to be a surrogate mommy, because I could really use one? I know it probably doesn't compare, but if you would like the position, it's open.
My trials aren't the same as yours, but they are ones that everybody can see like yours. And it is really sucky. I really envy the people who get to have their trials in private and not be judged by everybody in the ward, and get comments and questions that are meant to be all sympathetic and helpful but are just really inconsiderate and hurtful.
It is really hard to belong to a church that puts such a huge emphasis on family when you don't fit the 'norm.' I know what it is like to be in the middle of a trial that is so hard you're not sure you can continue because you think you'll never see the end of it. I know what it is like to wish that everybody would just quit watching and offering their helpful bits of advice. I'm sorry. I don't know a magic solution for it. Honestly, I hope that you can find comfort and that you'll find your Mr. Wonderful.
xo -E
These most recent posts are so comment worthy. I have turned into such a brat when people tell me I'm so lucky because I get to travel or stay late at work because I don't have to pick a baby up from daycare (no joke...my co-worker just said that to me) or all the other things I do to keep myself busy. I pretty much remind people they wouldn't trade places with me no matter how lucky they think I am. That usually shuts them up.
Ams, I just wish I knew what to say. I think of you so often and am so grateful for your example of doing such great things even though your life, (though amazing I might add) has not taken the direction you would pick. I love who you are and how you make me think and I am jealous of your wit, humor, and clean house (that minivan post was hillarious though I'm sure it didn't feel that way when you saw that guy driving one). I pray you get everything you want, including the minivan chock full of kids because you will be the best mom ever and the best at passing back sandwiches.
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