My little sister Heather is engaged and getting married on December 22nd. I am excited for her, just not excited for all the drama that comes with wedding festivities.
I think that in addition to whatever beautiful dress I choose to wear to the wedding festivities I am going to have a name-tag like the one above. Why not just eliminate all confusion right up front. Single is, apparently not what I am but who I am according to some people.For the past 10 years of sibling/cousin/friend weddings I have had to put up with ridiculous, sometimes hurtful comments made by guests.
Seriously, why do people think that it is comforting and or at all okay to say *things to the unmarried older sister like the statements below!?
* These are all things that have REALLY been said.
* These are all things that have REALLY been said.
My unsaid, sarcastic, yet true responses (that I wish I had the courage to counter with) are in blue.
"Don't worry, nothing is wrong with you dear." - (hidden message: I am worried about you)
"All those boys are so stupid" - "Great that is what I have to pick from stupid boys. Sign me up."
"You are so much prettier now than you were 5 years ago." -- Wow, flattered.
"Well, at least at your age you won't have to worry about putting someone through school." "Yep, I suffered through 2 degrees all by myself trying to balance a stupid social life -- glad I didn't have any worries about schooling."
"I have a friend who is just like you. She didn't get married until she was OLDER and she is still very happy." "Really, define "OLDER' -- like 22?!"
"Good thing we know that Heavenly Father has a plan for everyone." (Hidden Message: Have more faith.)
"Just enjoy being single while you can. I wish I hadn't married so early. You are so lucky." -- "Ya, that really motivates me to move on the marriage plan, since you are obviously unhappy in your marriage and wish you were me."
"Maybe you are to picky." "Nope, just selective"
"How is your love life?" -- "Seriously, is that any of your business?
"I have a nephew/grandson/best-friends mail-man/old boyfriends nephew/neighbor who I don't know/etc. . . that you should go out with! What is your number?" "1-801-nothanks"
"Sometimes, we all have to find ways to prioritize and do the things that are the most important" (Hidden Message: Your priorities aren't in the right place or else you would be married)
"Sister Oaks didn't marry Elder Oaks until she was in her 50's" "You figured me out: I am holding out for a general authority to have a spouse pass away. I love older men"
". . . . if not in this life. . . . in the next." "Yep, and my mansion in Heaven in going to be huge, even if I am all alone"
What I would like to do is ask them my own inappropriate questions, so that they can understand how ridiculous they sound.
“So, how much money do you make? have in savings? invested?”
“When are you guys going to have another baby…it is about time, isn’t it?”
“How’s your LOVE life (wink, wink)?”
“When are you planning on starting a family?”
“Do you think you’ll go on a diet soon?”
“How much equity do you have in your home?”
"Do you yell at your kids all the time or just in public?"
"Do you yell at your kids all the time or just in public?"
“Are you planning on doing anything about your receding hairline?”
All is fair in love and war right?
ps - congrats Heather and Jason. . . you make a great couple!
ps - congrats Heather and Jason. . . you make a great couple!
4 comments:
My favorite line I got (mostly from old ladies) was, I just don't get it, you are so cute... yeah, I'm glad you think so, white haired nice old lady, but evidently the boys don't think so!
In my situation and other dating/marriage situations I've seen it's been all about timing. Nothing with either person, just timing in life. Everyone told me I was too picky (yeah, gotta go on dates first to be too picky) and blah blah blah same stuff that you get, but it all comes down to the Lord's timing. Wayne was married when I was going through the fun adventures of single life, so it wasn't me or that I was too picky or that I had my priorities off, it was the fact that he was married to someone else and I was having my own adventures while I was waiting for him.
So hopefully this isn't one of those comments that makes it onto the next post like this, but Amber you are AWESOME and you WILL find someone, and he will be just as awesome as you are, but fortunately/unfortunately it's all in the Lord's timing.
Oh Ams, I love you! I love your honesty and your humor. I'm so excited for Heather and at the same time sorry you have to go through the drama and the comments (but they did make me laugh, thanks for that!). I just think there's no one lucky enough to have you yet. Not yet, but hopefully soon. OK, so now I'm self-conscious about that, I hope it doesn't make it on the next list because I really do think you are amazing and gorgeous, and fun, and a fabulous friend who an amazing man (not a stupid one for sure) will someday be very, very lucky to call his wife (or honey or baby or whatever you like really, that's up to the two of you!).
I loved reading this post... first because I enjoy your writing style but secondly, I can totally relate to what you are saying here:
I was the LAST girl in my family to get married (and I am the oldest in my family). By the time my youngest sister was getting married, being there was awkward to say the least. At least I could say to all the rude but I'm sure well-intentioned comments: "well you know it does say the last shall be first and the first shall be last..." I can totally empathize with your current situation. I never thought of wearing the "hi, my name is single" tag... that's a good one! :)
EXACTLY! I've thought those same things myself. What makes people think that comments like this are ok? The whole umarried, older, sister of the bride is never a fun place to be. Good luck!!!
Post a Comment