should have been practicing

Yep, for the last 10+ years I should have been practicing my violin. It isn't that I haven't PLAYED my violin in all that time. I just haven't practiced. I would occasionally play my violin in church, for a family function and sometimes I would play for the kids at school.
But I didn't practice. Ever.

I would always think "Oh, I am not letting my skills/talents go to waste, I am still playing. I am teaching lessons. I conduct the school orchestra."
I was just playing.
Little kids play. Not adults.

I am done playing the violin. From now on, when people comment on how I PLAY the violin I am going to remind them that I don't play I practice.

Practicing as defined by Webster states:
1 a : carry out; apply
b : to do or perform often, customarily, or habitually

2 a : to perform or work at repeatedly so as to become proficient
b : to train by repeated exercises

At least practicing is my goal. I have been taking a Suzuki certification class, and I am more than a little bit nervous about passing the required audition to become officially certified after hours and hour of class-time, reading and observation.
(For those of you who are not familiar with the Suzuki method it is all serious business -- no messing around there)

Sadly, I can't even play songs that I played when I was a Sophmore in High School. . . . and that was a long time ago.

So, I have started taking lessons again -- in hopes that I can pass my audition and put these expensive Suzuki classes to use. Oh, and to make sure that it wasn't a waste of my parent's money to have me take lessons all those years.

Also, my dad always told me that a girl who played the violin was prettier. I believed him. It kept me practicing for a lot of years. I might have to fall back on that again to keep me practicing.

In a few years maybe I'll put on a recital and you will all say "Wow, you play really well" and I will remind you that actually I practice in hopes that someday I can just play again. I want to be proficient (as stated in the definition above) and I guess if that means that I go back and re-learn Go Tell Aunt Rhody that is what I will do.

Oh and I am going to start saving my money so I can buy a new violin. Right now I am spending all my money on lessons so that I can justify purchasing a new instrument.